Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
