Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
