WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
