Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
