on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
