Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
