if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
