so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
