How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
