Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me I talked like a deaf person

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(862): View more from New Jersey

found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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(480): View more from Arizona

Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

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(302): View more from Delaware

well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."

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