all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
