Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
