She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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