Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wish I could teleport
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
