I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
