We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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