I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
