there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize