i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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