is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
