If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize