I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
