he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
