Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
