STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
