I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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