Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize