Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize