There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
