did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Non-Jews are for practice
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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