the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
