If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
