But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The air was thick with penises
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
