ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
