My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
