My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
