I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
