He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize