I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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