Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think i scared a bird with my dick
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
