do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have fence marks all over my body
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize