Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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