i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
