Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
