We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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