K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
