Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
