i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
