how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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