Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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