Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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