I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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