dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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