Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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