I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
