Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
