It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He has the fingertips of a God
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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