Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
