where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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