It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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