I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
