You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it penis luge time yet?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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