At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
