VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
