So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
